First symptoms after manifestation of schizophrenia-(I am 47, 4 years ago I started hearing voices out of the blue)-

Voices maybe the first thing you experience or a feeling of dissociation with one self, a dissolving of oneself etc- as if you are not you anymore- just a feeling that something weird is there that’s not letting you be fully you. You can also see images or feel movements in the body as if coming from outside. Intrusion in your thoughts or feelings is also a common symptom that most schizophrenics start experiencing. You can experience sudden isolated events of weird unexpected thoughts or deeply unwholesome feelings.

I have schizophrenia which is unfortunately yet clearly spirit interference- demonic possession (in my case). There is one or more entities separate from me and malevolent in nature, that have attached to me over time. The intrusion from outside is very clear to me physically in my body. It also tries to control me and harm me physically (feeling of control is mostly an illusion but it feels real). I don’t know if these are demons or evil humans but what they do is very demonic. For a long time I wondered if these are humans with psychopathic or devil like tendencies who have figured some way of connecting with others, maybe some cheap tricks etc Don’t know so just assuming it’s spirits with subtle bodies. If these are human then a new hi-tech terrorism is on the rise. We need to beware.

Please read

Arch B’s answer to How is schizophrenia defined? for more information.

Very early signs when you should be careful–

Please take this very seriously- Very early symptoms of schizophrenia can be as simple as a panic attack, pain spikes in your body organs like heart or elsewhere, a sudden feeling of mistrust emerging out of no where, seeing a weird dream, sudden feeling that others are laughing at you, feeling of someone trying to suffocate you or strangulate you etc. This can happen when you are very happy and doing very well in life. You might experience these due to other physical medical reasons as well and they may never manifest into schizophrenia. But please make a note if the events are too sudden and unexpected. Don’t believe in what the medical science has to say that much- they barely know anything about the mind.

My early symptoms– (I was 15)-

In my case I was in perfect states of mind and body, thriving and flourishing in life when these beings contacted me for the first time. It may be surprising to know that they may be connected to us by birth if someone in your family already has a connection with them. Families with a history of mental or neurological illnesses should be careful and vigilant.

1. I was 15 studying in school (was an excellent student academically, had great friends and very happy). One day we were all sitting at home when I suddenly felt a noise like vibration in my mind. It was very subtle. I had great concentration powers at that point and so I could easily detect it. It distracted me but I had to study so I got up to go to another room. It stopped bothering me as soon as I started studying. I remember what I studied that day.
2. An hour or two later in the evening when we went out my elder sister suddenly had a seizure attack for the first time in her life. The next day I experienced the second symptom- a feeling of difficulty swallowing. It only went on for half a day but I knew something was up. Since nothing happened beyond that everyone in my family and me ignored it. My sister developed epilepsy in the years ensuing this event.
3. My third symptom came when I was 23 , working in a software company – I suddenly started choking very severely. I became alright in a few minutes but it felt as if there was an external influence. I spoke with my family about it but everyone laughed it off and so did I.
4. Fast forward 7 years. I was 30 , doing my second Masters in Engg when I was sitting and studying and suddenly felt a heaviness at the back of my neck. It was the feeling of pressure at my occipital lobe. This lasted for about an hour followed by a panic attack. A feeling of fear engulfed my body and my mind and my heartbeat went upto 130. I called emergency, they came and checked- nothing was wrong except the heartbeat. I was doing very well in life then too and was living happily and had great focus etc. Again went to the doctor, nothing happened. All good.
5. A year later I started feeling spikes in my heart while sleeping, they were so painful that I would jerk and wake up whenever my mind tried to fall asleep. Went to a psychiatrist, doctor, heart specialist- all tests were ok. This continued for a few months. But all this is still very long ago- as old as 2006. Just had that feeling come once in a while and then all would be good. I also used to feel a weird nervousness sometimes while walking. Doctor prescribed some meds which were discontinued under his supervision in a few months.
6. After that a few years later I started having sustained feelings of pressure or some weird feeling at the back of my neck and a strong feeling of dissociation of self. Just a feeling that I can’t be myself anymore. At this time I had also started living alone and had stopped working due to a circumstance in my life. I used to wonder what was wrong with me. I read up a lot on dissociative feelings and derealisation. Thought I had depression or anxiety. This was around 2015.
7. 2017 – the day of the solar eclipse- I had this first waking hallucination or the evil spirits first attempt to break my boundaries-

Arch B’s answer to What is the most surreal/distinguished hallucination you ever had?

8. 2019- With a few more harmful attempts in the next couple years , one day while sitting on a chair in my room (I lived alone in US then), I suddenly started hearing beeping sounds and then voices. They started with saying this- “Your quest for liberation will go through a longer path” (I practice Vipassana meditation and have a desire for liberation from suffering). They spoke in Hindi. This was the first manifestation of schizophrenia symptoms 4 years ago. The voices have never stopped after that.

(ps: I want to clarify something here. When these events happened I did not think or believe these were demons or evil spirits. I just wondered about what this was and the strangeness of it and put it in “unknowns”. It’s only after dealing with these for 3–4 years and observing every activity and nuance around what is happening – now I know clearly that this is demonic activity.)

What protected me until recently–

Strong concentration, happiness and a great support system. A mind with strong concentration and equanimity cannot be penetrated easily is what I have learnt from my Vipassana practice. It has it’s guards. However you might belong to a family where demons visit or where members have neurological illnesses. If you have a weak physical body or nervous system and feel sensitive to the outside vibrations it means lower entry barrier for any connection. You will find that most mental illnesses have a neurological cause- which means we have trouble with “connections”. You can also call it karma (if you like).

What I could have done differently?

If I had known better that such energies or forms exist that barge into you and I would have to face such a situation I would have taken steps much earlier – I would have worked my way out of this by following a stronger meditation practice of Anapana and Vipassana, taken advice from a senior teacher, would not have lived alone, would have stayed more connected with others, and focused on survival.

Was there anything about my nature or surroundings/environment that should have given me warnings?

From childhood I was always very afraid of ghosts. Despite my great achievements, capabilities and very high concentration powers- which mostly gave me a very happy student and job life and friendships, I was also easily nervous and had too much stage fear (public speaking). Even though I rarely experienced it but I always noticed that my nervousness is more than others. I think “nervousness” has something to do with my present condition-it means we are more “sensitive” to some things than others which indicates a weak neurological barrier. It is also possible that the entities were always distantly connected to me and then one day decided to barge in finding me alone. Hence I was always “reacting” to an unknown presence- so the nervousness and a sense of fear and knowing that something is there. I was also always physically a bit weak- my body has always been very thin and not as physically capable as others (easy sprains, feeling stress on body quickly). Lastly I used to imagine conversations a lot – like even during studying I would learn by imagining that I am teaching someone or a friend etc. I think that is a symptom of a weak mind.

My family had all signs of demonic interference (nobody agrees though or likes to go there) -seizures, extreme sleep issues, extreme fears about things from childhood in some members of my immediately family as well as many signs and symptoms of unreasonable fears/ too much food craving etc in relatives. Neurological disorders in two grandparents. In my view after manifestation in me at 43, I know these demons were always connected to my family and found an opportunity to connect with me and manifest fully when I was alone and weak. I think in my case it is the “associations” or my connections that led me to this condition.

My lesson- We need to build a network of “strong” spiritual connections during the good times so they can protect us from these harms when things have only started. Otherwise you will just succumb to the illness. For example in my case if I knew all this I would have gone to Vipassana teachers when I was strong and capable and asked them to help me out of this. But at that time I could not understand what these symptoms were indicative of and how would manifest over time. Unfortunately no one knows much about this reality well enough to protect when times are right.

I want others to be very vigilant about protecting themselves from harmful energies, vibrations, people, beings, signs in family and “especially” sudden occurrences.You have to constantly work at protecting yourself from negative energy or vibrations especially if you think you are sensitive. Also build equanimity by practising techniques like Vipassana- it is an armour against negative vibrations (look it up if you don’t understand what it means). Nobody will help when things become bad.

Self protection is the mantra. (Maybe mantra chantings are also good for warding off such evil occurrences. I have tried but not enough to know how much is needed etc. Also Vipassana is the higher path so I practised Vipassana or Anapana only)